I'm A Survivor!

My first semester of college is officially over. I have finished conquered my classes and lived through my first finals week (not quite as bad as the stories, but no walk in the park for sure). I have learned so much this semester, and very little of it was actually Music-ed related. I am however, really glad to be home, and hope to spend this break making a little bit of money and a great deal of crafts.

My first semester ended up so much better than I was expecting. I somehow managed a 3.9 GPA (um...what?) which means no stress about maintaining my scholarships which is more of a relief than I would care to admit. And more importantly, I came out of it with some amazing friendships, as well as a greater understanding of myself, and my faith than I could have ever imagined. There is really no great way to sum up these life-changing weeks in a way that will make total sense, but I'm going to attempt my first ever top 10  5 list.

Top 5 Highlights of my First Semester.

1. Racer Band

RB 2013 Pit

I was a part of the 2013 Racer Band Pit. It was such a different marching band front ensemble experience that I was accustomed to, but ended up being so much fun. I had the opportunity to meet some awesome people (including a girl who took Oboe lessons from the same teacher I had back home- crazy right?) and learn some fun, fun music. Also, diving right into something this time consuming pretty much forced me to learn how to manage my time more efficiently than I thought was possible. Spending a minimum of 10 hours a week at the stadium in addition to a 17 credit hour class load, and 5 scholarship hours a week on top of trying to spend enough time practicing and doing homework (and sleeping) almost did me in, and certainly limited my social life to almost nothing. Its a good thing that there were over 250 people to meet in RB.

2. My Applied Lessons

Smashed reeds= free therapy.

As a music major, I am required to take private lessons on my main instrument. For me, this means an hour a week playing the oboe in the 5th floor office of one Mr. Erickson. I absolutely LOVE my lessons, and many times, in addition to playing, they turned into reed- help sessions, or general therapy sessions. My oboe professor is a fantastic man of God, who helped me get through the craziness that was my first semester in more ways than I could express. I am so thankful for him, and am always in awe of the contrast that exists between my excitement for my weekly lessons, and the brass players' dread. I have also grown incredibly as a musician during this semester, and am excited to see what is coming.

3. Journey Church

This is the stage set-up for my last Sunday
 before break, which also happened to be
 the firsttime I got to play with the band.

One thing that I was MOST sad about leaving when I moved was my home church. I cannot tell you how much I love the people there, and the community that exists. It was so important to me that I find a church in my new (temporary) hometown, and I spent many nights awake worrying about how that was going to happen. I did a little bit of "church shopping" which was greatly uncomfortable and I didn't particularly like (and here is a blog post that I would have found invaluable at the time). But soon after moving, I had a conversation with a soon to be dear friend, and he was talking about going to the Journey. After a few Sundays, I decided to give it a try, and it was very different than I had expected, and Jesus definitely spoke to my heart there. And very quickly after deciding that I would give it another shot, I jumped right in to a life team, and through that opportunity after opportunity has shown up for me to get involved, and I think for now, it is the right place for me, and that is deeply reassuring.

4. Old Friends, New Friends

"Make new friends, but keep the old
one is silver but the other gold"

One thing that I think is kinda unique about me, is the friend group I had in high school. I was blessed with a fabulous group of Jesus- loving girls that all stuck together, and grew closer throughout HS. That being said, we were all pretty devastated when graduation came and we all ended up called to different universities located throughout the state. I ended up going the farthest away and while that has definitely stretched my relationship with these girls, there is no doubt in my mind, that because of the deep bond that exists between us, our friendship will change but not end. It has been extremely cool to see how college is changing us and yet to know that we still love each other and seem to pick right back up where we left off when we are together. Going to college and leaving behind these beautiful friendships was terribly difficult, but was something that needed to happen, and I can say with full confidence, that God is incredibly faithful. Because of my crazy schedule and lack of free time (thank you Racer Band) I didn't have a lot of time to go meet new people. But because of this, I can see where God orchestrated events and meetings for me, and through them has brought new friends into my life who I love very much. I cannot imagine what my semester would have been like without these fantastic people, and ultimately am very glad that I really don't have to :)

5. Growing Up

I was debating on whether or not I should include this one, as it has been the "double edged sword" so to speak. This semester has been one where I have learned so much about who I was and what I stood for, as most college students do. But also, I have had to learn to take care of things by myself that many of my friends have not. I mean silly things, like figuring out where to get my car serviced, and some not so silly things, like deciding to switch roommates. And I had no choice but to learn to handle them on my own. It's not like I could just hop in the car and get my mom to help me. Sure, she gave me all the advice, prayers, and encouragement she could, but I ultimately was left to my own devices. It was terribly scary, and yet such a typical part of life, I feel almost silly sometimes when I think about just how scared I was at first. I have grown so much, and for the most part, I think that the growth I have experienced has been taking me on the path to becoming the person I want to be, and that is really what life is about, is it not?

This was something that was supposed to be posted a while ago, so forgive me if one reflecting upon 2013 and looking forward to 2014 also comes a long sometime today. :)

Boys Boys Boys

It seems that everywhere I look right now there is some article about knowing you're in a relationship with the right guy or reassuring those of us who are single that our guy is out there. As a single college girl, it does kinda suck to be single, really it does. But having been in relationships before, I know that sometimes it kinda sucks to be in a relationship too. I wish it were as easy as just saying "I trust that God will bring me the right guy at the right time," and a part of me genuinely believes that this is all there is to it (because its truth). However, there is another part of me, perhaps the more human part, that just wants a guy to choose me, to pay me special attention and to call me his. So many of my dreams are wrapped up in being a wife and a mother and experiencing a marriage relationship that is focused on God, serving Him, and seeing where He takes us individually, and communally through it. However, I have felt for a while, and still feel (despite fighting it pretty fiercely for the past few weeks) that I am not supposed to be in a dating relationship right now. I think that I need to use this time to focus on getting my priorities straight, keeping all aspects of my life pure, and growing while still alone; before throwing a guy into my life.

If only having these rather clear-cut feelings made it easier.

But they really don't, in all honesty, it almost makes it worse. The rebellious part of me especially doesn't like it, because knowing what I'm supposed to be doing is pretty much an explicit invitation for me to do the exact opposite. Beyond that though, its just hard. There are a lot of cute guys on campus, even (especially) in the church I've been going to, and in the campus ministries that I respect (and let me tell you- a guy worshiping God with all he has in the moment is one of the most attractive things I have ever seen, but I digress). I have made some pretty spectacular guy friends, and there are days when I feel like I have just fallen head-over-heels for them. But I have realized time and time again, that the relationships I have are so much more valuable the way they are than they would be as a short, or even long-lived fling that would inevitably end in an awkward, strained barely-a-friendship. I also have confidence that if something different from friendship, or even a deeper brother-sister relationship is supposed to happen, then it will at some point become evident and the idea will be explored prayerfully. And on the hard days, that confidence is what I cling to.

But I don't believe that I am supposed to be living my college experience in a state of limbo, just waiting until my time and my guy. We are told that Jesus came to give us life abundantly, and I don't believe that there is a sub-text that says "abundant life comes after guy." There is a part of me that is so excited to still be in this time of singleness because there are so many things I can do, that being in a relationship would not really allow for. I have had the opportunity to become involved in so many different (rather time-consuming) things. I have made some eternally valuable girl- friends that I would not trade for the world. I have had opportunities to more fully become the woman that God has created me to be, and the glimpses I get of what is ahead of me are truly exciting!

Its been kind of crazy, because every time I get down and stuck in the single-blues rut, He always sends something my way to remind me of #1 His unshakable, complete power and control, and #2 how amazing the plans He has for me are, and just how unbelievably exciting the path ahead of me is. I wish that this meant that I would/ could stop thinking about it sometimes, but unfortunately I have yet to find this switch or the self- control to flip it. Instead, I have been trying to focus on the things that are in front of now, and I think that God has been faithful to my rather feeble attempt to make that step.

Halloween 2013

So, I'm not really good at participating in things like Halloween. I haven't really done anything for Halloween for such a long time, and I can't really say that I understand the holiday, and usually that's enough to get me out of any activity that requires dressing up. But this year, there was a Percussion Ensemble concert that I really wanted to go to, that just happened to fall on Halloween and of course, costumes were suggested.

I was planning on just going to the concert and not participating in the whole costume thing, but let's just say that I have some friends who...encouraged me to not be that lame :). So after throwing together a costume at the absolute last minute, I went. In costume. And I must say, tonight was a BLAST! And the concert was spectacular too. :)

I think I make a pretty good goddess, don't you?

Tonight kinda proved a point that I've been chewing on for a while. I have never really been someone willing to step out of my little comfort zone in the name of being silly and having fun, in public anyways. I don't think that this part of me will change over night, or even my tendency to kinda shrink back and observe will ever completely go away. However, I wonder what ridiculously fun experiences I've missed out on because I wasn't willing to be a little bit silly in front of people. I can't help but be a little bit sad for all of the good, fun things I probably missed out on because I was so concerned about what other people would think about me. No, not everybody dressed up for the concert tonight, or went to eat dinner in their concerts, and yes, they probably thought that I looked a little silly walking through campus in the rain dressed up like a goddess laughing my butt off with some of my friends, but I would not trade this night for anything in the world. It was so refreshing to just be silly and joyful and to be having so much fun that quite frankly it didn't matter what was going on in other peoples' minds. I think that maybe I need to live my daily life a little more like I did tonight. Participate a little more and worry about what everybody else thinks a little less.

Make New Friends...

You wanna know something? Making friends is hard. And its not like working out hard, or calculus hard. Its hard like here I can either be lonely all the time and not share life with anybody, or I can risk looking like a complete idiot and ask if you want to eat lunch together, and further the awkwardness by making horrible small talk or word-vomiting about life. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

I was so blessed by my friends back home. I had a group of spectacular girls that were my rock all through high school. I never realized how much they pointed me towards Christ until I moved and they weren't right there all the time to help keep me in check. Our friendships were beautiful things, and I think one of the most clear illustrations I have of how life is supposed to work- with a community of Jesus-lovers. And these friendships have all continued, and I honestly believe that they will continue for the rest of our lives. These relationships have changed so much in the past few months, and as hard as it is to be so far away from the people I love the best, I know that our friendships won't stop because life gets in the way!

But I almost think that having such amazing girls at home made it harder to move here. I love being in in Murray and I have never been more sure that I'm where I'm supposed to be, but that doesn't mean leaving everything and everyone you know is easy. I'm figuring out so much about who I am and who I want to be that its scary. And I know that these times are supposed to be the stories I tell for the rest of my life (yeah, whatever), but I'm still pretty lonely sometimes. So many days end with me having NOTHING left to give to anybody. So many of my friendships require so much of me, and its hard. But God is so faithful (sensing a theme about my college experience thus far?) I have finally made some friendships that I feel like could grow into those "friends from college" who hang around my life for a while. :)

New Life

So obviously the whole new blog plan thing was a no go. Sometimes you have ideas that sound great, and then life happens and you never get to find out if your ideas were as great as they seemed (which honestly, is probably not a bad thing to begin with...). So yeah, also in the last few months life has completely changed. Completely.

I am now a music major at Murray State. I am hours away from anything and anyone I'm used to and its been the weirdest few months of my life. These few months have been some of the most difficult and lonely and scary of my life, but God has been so faithful and He has placed some fabulous people in my life and I have never been so "right where I am supposed to be." I love it, and am so thankful for this time in my life and cannot wait to see how these next few years turn out. But lemme say...

Being a music major is fantastic, yet so difficult. I love being able to focus my studies on something that I love and am passionate about, but at the same time, I miss being able to escape it as needed too. I can't do only one thing, it diminishes the joy I find in that one thing, and sometimes I find myself completely overwhelmed by the world that exists inside of the fine arts building and forget that there is a whole (real) world outside. I'm still searching for the balance.

Racer Band 2013 Pit. 

Because of the ensembles that I'm in I haven't had a lot of time to do much else, but marching band is starting to wind down, so I'm excited to get involved in hopefully a non-music activity or two (I'm thinking maybe intramural volleyball...). I have been able to find a church to become involved with, and I've even joined a life team and become a part of the "guest services" team, which means I get to make and serve coffee with a smile, and I've loved how a bunch of random faces have started to become familiar and even (some of them) get paired with a name!

Some days have been fairly rough, and some could not have been more perfect. That's life. Yeah, I miss my friends and family and being home where I'm comfortable. However, I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, and that is a peace that is more powerful than even the strongest loneliness, homesickness, unsettled-ness. God is so faithful. If I have learned anything these past weeks, its been that.

Purpose

So, I've been struggling with this word for a while now, in a lot of aspects of my life. In the AP Lit class that I took we went through this season of reading many pieces from many authors spanning many "eras" that looked at a person's purpose and what happens when that purpose is lost. This was a very depressing season, because the authors seemed to agree that once a person's purpose was lost or overlooked, the very point of that persons life was over, and often this led to the death of the character as well. For classes full of high school seniors who were at the time in their lives when they were trying to figure out their purpose it was almost more than we could handle. For me personally, I felt like I came to grips with the questions of my purpose, for my future anyway. But now, in this transitional period, I am struggling with exactly what my role is for the summer. I am no longer a high school student. I am not yet a college student. I am phasing out of youth group, but there is not a college group to phase into, nor would it be very worthwhile to seek one out 4 hours away from where I will be attending college. My parents are helping me to celebrate and prepare for my independence, but I still have family responsibilities and expectations to fulfill. Its weird. And I'm a little bit lost.

Part of me is so ready to venture into this big world. I'm excited to move away from home and have all of these new experiences and new friends and new responsibilities. I cannot wait to find a church near school, get involved with groups on campus and begin my classes. But another part of me cannot believe that my life at home is coming to an end, that my friends and I are all going our separate ways, and that I will never again walk the halls of my high school as a student. Everything is changing all at once, and I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to get a horrible roommate, that I'm not good enough to major in music, that I won't be able to make the kind of friends I crave. I'm scared of the faith crisis that "everyone has once the get to college." And to a certain extent, I'm scared of letting people know that I'm scared.

 But right now, one of my biggest fears (more than all of that other stuff), is that I'm wasting this summer. I know that this time is supposed to be a little awkward, but I also know that God can use this awkward time in my life to further His kingdom, and further prepare me for my future. But I still feel like I'm waiting for this summer to begin. When school ends every year, I always get these big ideas about what I'm going to accomplish this summer, and sometimes they happen and sometimes they don't, but there's always something that I'm doing. And while I have some ideas and goals for this summer, the desire and motivation to go out and work on them has yet to come. Which is weird. I think, that because I don't feel like this summer has a definite purpose, it can't have definite goals. And being the over-achiever, goal oriented person that I am, this doesn't sit well with me.


One thing that I know for sure, is that I was made on purpose for a purpose. At this point, I've just got a little bit of seeking to do in order to figure out what it is for right now.

In other news, my girl Halle left for her trip to Spain today! I am so excited for her, and the experiences she will have (is having) and will literally be GLUED to her blog, waiting to see what she gets herself into over there! Also, my youth group friends come home from their mission trip today! I know that they've had a really good trip and I can't wait to see what God has shared with them and what He will share through them! Speaking of which, I have to go pick up my brother about now. One last thing though- its also Father's Day. I would be terribly terrible remiss not to throw it out there that my dad is pretty awesome! No matter what happens, I know that I have his love and support and that he's always in my corner. I have been so blessed and I love him very much!

He's pretty great!

Blessings
Emily

Let the College Shopping Adventures Begin...

I must admit, I am getting really really excited for school this fall! Its gonna be SOO different walking into a school 10x the size that I'm used to, and not see my friends in the hallways and just the whole not knowing what to expect thing. BUT I can't wait to see what God has for me on this next step, and the more prepared I become, the more excited I'm getting. I cannot tell you how many lists I've been making and re-making and the budgeting that I've been doing and the drooling over pinterest boards and West Elm catalogs. And while I was immensely blessed by the wonderful people in my life at graduation, I think it would irresponsible to but a whole bunch of stuff for a temporary housing assignment. SO, I have set aside a certain amount of money and am committing to sticking under it, and last night I went on my first shopping experience (and it was with my mommy- definitely the best part!)

So, I have never been to Ikea before, the closest one is like 2 hours away, but all I hear is how wonderful it is and how I should go, and blah blah blah. But let me just say, it was WONDERFUL! It was huge and overwhelming and crazy, but I loved seeing all of the different stuff they have and all the different things they could do, and I walked away WAY under the budget that I had set, and that was BY FAR the best part! (and the fact that I remembered the colors and everything went together when I got back home- that was cool too!) The corner is growing, and my list is getting checked off!

The college corner is growing!! :)

 At Ikea I got this rocking orange rug for like $20, and the perfect sized trashcan and a multipurpose lamp! (Wow, I'm such a nerd for being this excited about it.) Then we went to Target and priced some things (spent a gift card or two) and I found this super nifty chair (!) and some other, more (boring) practical things.

Like seriously, how cool is this? And it folds up into almost nothing!

 And finally we went to Garden Ridge (not gonna lie, it was pretty sketchy) and I got some super cheap dishes! I can't wait till everything comes together!

So, to recap, as of right now, I have acquired:

Quilt

Pillows

Mattress Protector-thingy

Rug

Pillows

Chair

Curtain (an idea for my closet door)

Coffee Maker

Coffee

Lamp/ Light Bulbs

Bedside Table

Towels

Laundry Basket

Starter Detergent and Stain Remover

Laundry Hamper

Picture Frames

Dishes (including plates, bowls, and cups)

Picture Frame

I really need to get some totes so that I can store and transport everything, so that is definitely the next thing on the list. But I just can't wait for everything to come together and to get on campus in the fall and start this next chapter of my life!

Chocoholic Confession...

So I must admit...I am a really really big fan of chocolate! :) So being a fan of chocolate, I tend to incorporate it into stuff that I make a lot, so that I may eat it. Tonight, I made my ALL TIME favorite snack....*drum roll* chocolate covered bananas and pretzels (yes because only one would not be sufficient. Not to mention a waste of perfectly good chocolate). It was so super simple. All you have to do is melt the chocolate and dip you goodie of choice into it.

Ignore the BBQ chips ;)

For those who wish for a step-by-step:

1- Melt 1/8 c. of chocolate chips in a microwave safe dish with almost 2 tbs. of butter. I use the melt/ chocolate/ 4-6 oz setting on my microwave. Its probably something along the lines of 2 minutes on 50ish% power.

2- Dip the pieces of whatever into the chocolate using a fork to help turn the piece in the chocolate (be careful, the chocolate is hot and definitely will burn your fingers...personal experience).

3- Lift the pieces out of the chocolate using the fork, tapping the fork against the side of the dish to shake off excess chocolate (more chocolate, more goodies!)

4- Put the yumminess on a wax paper lined baking sheet or plate and put them in the fridge till they're cool/ the chocolate has hardened.

And that's it! Super easy and super yummy! And actually, mine should be done with the cooling process. I leave you to partake in the results of my (not so hard) work. So yummy!

Starting off the Summer Right!

Hello there! :)

So last night my grandparents flew back home, marking the official end of my family graduation celebration. I was terribly sad to see them go (yes, I cried) but part of me is glad that summer can actually begin. I know it sounds terrible, but for me, guests are just hard work, especially if they are your beloved grandparents! I wanted so badly to spend time with them as much as I could, but I also had to make appearances and others' grad parties, and I was picking up babysitting jobs and trying to help mom keep the house clean and food cooked, and it was just a lot (yeah mostly my fault, but I've never been good at seeing where the "too much line" is, much less actually steering clear of it...). So in that regard, I'm glad its over. And now, summer (the relaxing, getting stuff done part) can truly begin! Yay!

To kick off the summer, my beautiful, crazy, passionate, (most importantly) Jesus-loving, friends; Halle (who can be found blogging here) and Leslie had put together an awareness rally, event thing about modern-day slavery and the End It Movement. Since we got back from Passion 2013 these two have been the ones who have really run with the question of "How can I take what I've learned back home with me," and I for one couldn't be prouder of them! They called people all over our little county and found a parking lot we could use and set up tents and made info boards and invited speakers and advertised and it went over really really well. (Like I said, I'm proud!) But the night before, Les called me and asked if I would be willing to do some "event photography." Of course I agreed, and I was truly excited to help in whatever way that I could, and I love taking pictures! But of course, I wasn't actually sure what she wanted, and what I was hoping to do exactly. All that to say, for my first time at doing any kind of event photography, and it being a last minute deal, I'm pretty happy with it. Wanna see some?

Letting people know where it was!

 

Caption this...?

They estimated that about 80 people stopped by. That's crazy!

The presentation/ speaker portion.

Some people looking at an info table.

Capturing this moment of the actual "shining a light" was so hard!

I think its safe to say they were excited with how it turned out!



I'm still so shocked at the numbers and statistics of modern-day slaver, and how prevalent an industry human trafficking is today. I'm so glad however, that there are people who are working tirelessly to bring awareness, and justice for the victims. I wrote about this as one of my first posts, and that has SO many good links if you're looking for more information! It's right here. Please learn more and don't be afraid to see what you can do to help bring justice to such a HUGE number of people.

 



What time is it?!? Summer Time!

Throwback to High School Musical...anyone? Nah? Alright.

Well, now that I've revealed my nerdy, lover-of-cheesy-Disney-movies, side, let's all just take a moment to relish in the fact that my high school career is over! As a student anyways (I might just be back in a few years, we'll have to see what God has in store).

But anyways, now that school is out, and all the craziness of graduation is (mostly) over, I thought that it might be a good idea to get all caught up with this whole blog thing (admittedly a project that was ill-timed and ill-focused). I'm still not exactly sure what I'm seeing this being, but I'm working on it definitely, and I think a pattern will emerge after I get in some sort of a routine.

Because it is summer, and all of the sudden I have some free time, I have been thinking about some things I want to accomplish before I leave for school in the fall. Some of these are goals I want to achieve in hopes of "setting myself up for success" when I leave home (sorry about the cliché, I have no excuse). I don't want this to be a "bucket-list" because for me, this brings up images of dignified adults doing hugely irresponsible things before they die just to check something off of a list, and I think that attitude has the power to screw up priorities and get in the way of your ability to appreciate the life that is going on around you. But at the same time, there is a certain level of "carpe-diem," "live fully into the life around you" spirit to it as well, so I have to appreciate that aspect of it...regardless, this summer, I want to:

- Get into a solid routine of quite time and Bible study (like 5 days a week as a conservative goal)

- Be able to run a 5k (and enjoy it!)

-Find a laundry routine that keeps my hamper out of an overflowing state

-Take guitar lessons (I'm so excited about this, its actually all lined up and everything, I can't wait to learn more about one of my instruments and have someone teaching me instead of learning myself)

- Make some really good memories with the group of friends I've been blessed with this year

...and that about sums up my list. I'm really excited to see what this summer has in store; I'm gonna work a little, do a little college shopping, have my wisdom teeth removed, volunteer some, and see what all I can learn in my last 2 months or so at home. Here we go!



Cool Little Project Thingy

Hey guess what?!? It's finally spring break! And what an amazing break it has been. I'm loving this whole not worrying about school thing. But sadly it ends soon. :( HOWEVER, spring break being over means that graduation is just that much closer! (YAY!)

I've been working on a fun little project that I'm thinking will end up being graduation presents for some of my friends. Its basically personalized stationary, and it's super easy to do with Photoshop. Here's how I've been doing it:

Open up Photoshop and create a new project. Make it paper-sized (I'm going to be printing this so I'm making it 8.5 x 11)

It should look like this.

Then, find a picture that you want to be the background. I have found that it works best with pictures that are taken "long-ways" so that they are oriented the same way as the paper. Generally these pictures look sideways on the computer before you edit them.

like this! I did all necessary edits to the picture,
 before I started working with the new project that I created.

After you locate your picture and make sure that everything is turned the right way and cropped the way you want, you "place" it onto the 8.5 x 11 background that you made. To do this, you File > Place 

Then choose your picture. Double click it to put it on the background. It shows up and has this big X over it, that's because it's not in the project yet. At this point, you can move it around and then hit Enter (on your keyboard) to actually put it there. 

At this point it becomes fun and artsy :) hehe.

I like to mess with the opacity of the picture a lot.

and I also like to make things Black & White. Though this picture I like with the washed-out colors. But if you want to make it B&W, I like to add an adjustment layer, that way it's easy to undo.

Of course I like to mess with the opacities....:)

After you get the background the way you want it, you'll want to add lines. Which is super easy. All you do is use the text tool and just type ___ over and over again :) I generally have to do half and then copy/ paste for some reason. Not sure why, so I just do it and move on. Then I make the lines less opaque so that they blend a little better.

This is what it looks like in the end. 

The last thing you need to do is flatten the image so that it can save as a jpeg and is easy to print out. SO just go to Layers > Flatten Image, Then File> Save As. :)

I love the idea of sending letters on these, or binding them and making a super special little journal, who knows, the possibilities are endless! I am a little concerned that the ink will be too much for regular paper, so I might try it on some scrapbook type paper or light card stock. We shall see.

**Update- I am doing this currently for some gifts, as was the plan (YAY for actually accomplishing something on the to-do list) and so far, because of how opaque I'm making the pictures, printing them is not a problem at all! After I'm all done I will post some pictures.

I'm Still Here.

I promise I'm still here. Its just been super super crazy and some things have had to fall to the wayside. I'm sad about it, but really I haven't had much time to focus on anything except for what homework I have to do or what practice I have to go to next. My sincerest apologies.

But anyways. Lately the biggest thing on the "plate" is school. School school school school school. I'm so done with it. 2 weeks to spring break (9 weeks to graduation) and it just could not come soon enough. At this point, I know that my job is to finish well and give everything I have till graduation. I know that. But that doesn't make it any easier. So I'm just struggling through and trying to push and find motivation. And don't even get me started about how I'm supposed to be enjoying senior year and these are supposed to be the "best years of my life." Too much, too much.

So I talked about motivation right? Well I'm trying to like go through and recognize the good points about school, the things I enjoy and don't mind being there for :) So far I've come up with:
- Lacrosse and the girls (its the sport's first year at school and I'm loving it! We're all new and super bad, but its okay, cause we're all bad together)
- Band (sometimes I have a really bad attitude about it, but I really do love the family we've become and the music part is generally cool too)
- Lunches in the help-desk (entertaining to say the least, and sometimes I actually get work done)
- Friends (I was hesitant to put this here because I honestly see my friends more outside of school than I do inside, and we definitely get more quality time outside of it, but they are what make it bearable and I do have some pretty rocking friends!)

Honestly though, what gets me through more than anything else are times of awesome worship like what happened in big church and youth this week. Man it was good. And it never ceases to amaze me how much FUN it is to play worship when its so blatantly obvious that you're in the presence of God. It was soul restoring. Actually this entire weekend was a gift! Between babysitting and chill time with the family and a nice run and that awesome worship it was all that a weekend should be- restful and restorative. And barely a lick of homework got done (until Monday morning that is)

And for your listening pleasure, the youth worship set this week: Children of Light (Kristian Stanfil/ Passion Worship Band), Forever Reign (Hillsong Live), One This Remains (Jesus Culture).

What I Learned This Weekend

**In the interest of full disclosure, I'm having a rock out Jesus music jam sesh while writing this, so there is NO telling when it will actually get published :) haha.

Gotta be honest, now that I've actually gotten this blogging thing started, I'm a little bit stuck. Where do I go from here? The last post was totally inspired by the events surrounding it, but now that I'm in routine, daily life, what is there?

The past couple of weekends have been odd, they have been relaxing and refreshing. Meaning that instead of being swamped with that application or this interview or that essay, I was able to actually hang out with friends (hello social life! wait, what?). My school experience has been pretty intense, and my tendency to do everything I can and fill every moment of every day with SOMETHING has been a big struggle that I am and have been dealing with for a while. So I'm not kidding when I say that free, or even light-commitment weekends, have been somewhat foreign to me. The growth that I have seen in this area of my life has been immense already, and I'm so glad that He's not finished with me yet as I still have a ways to go. But anyways, (cue "Mystery" by Charlie Hall) this weekend was pretty chill, and it taught me so much about the importance of chill time. There are so many things that I want to do, but (mostly because of my mom) I'm learning to say "no, not this time" and its doing so much for my emotional health. I'm recognizing more and more where my breaking point is and what pushes me towards it, and because of this I am doing a MUCH better job of avoiding it! (thank You Jesus!)

One of my (many) "commitments" is church. I taught myself how to play guitar a few years ago, and have been leading worship at church since our music minister left last year. Since this is something that I LOVE so much, and count as such a blessing it almost pains me to call it a "commitment," but there are always those times when the sacrificial service aspect of it overpowers the joyful servant's heart, and getting out of bed 2 hours earlier to make an 8am sound check, is definitely one of those times. Don't get me wrong, once I'm there playing and worshiping my heart out, I'm totally in my element, but getting there is a little rough sometimes. This week was definitely one of those times made all the worse by springing forward (*sigh*) but hey, as usual God showed up, and the time spent in His presence is SO worth it. (Up next, for King & Country)

Funny story about this weekend in particular though. I painted my nails for the first time in a long time because it was like 70 outside (for the first time in a long time) and I wanted to wear my chacos, and I prefer the look of painted toenails (and you can't just paint your toenails a bold color without it getting all over your hands and its just easier to paint the fingers too).

This is from last summer, and ironically enough my toes are not painted. Blech!
But YAY for chaco weather!

 So after I spent all this time painting my nails (they even looked good), I went to lead worship and in between 2 songs I dropped my pick inside my guitar, and a back up I did not have. So I had to use my FRESHLY PAINTED NAIL. Grr. Oh well. I'm not really the put-together, nicely manicured type anyways. But I found the irony rather striking. :) And here's a picture so that you can properly commiserate with me.

 Now on to bigger and better things. Like calculus. Or maybe not. ("Forever Reign" One Sonic Society version anyone?)

Snow Day!

As crazy as it is to be saying this in March, HAPPY SNOW DAY! When the announcement was made this morning I promptly did a little happy dance/ sigh of relief (no calculus for me today!) and hopped right back into bed for a few more hours! When I finally did wake up again, I had all these plans in my head of what I wanted to do today. And now, seeing that my free day will soon become free evening I am proud(ish) to announce that I have completed NOTHING that was on my to-do list. As much as it pains the type-A parts of my personality to say that, today has been a rather restorative break. I was able to dream a little bit more about my dorm room next year, look up a few more scholarships to apply for, split a frozen pizza with my brother (a surprisingly yummy snow day tradition), and create this blog. So a day wasted, not entirely. But pretty much.

In the midst of my dorm decor pin-fest, I stumbled across this rocking blog Scribbles from Emily. Not only did she have some pretty cool dorm ideas, but she did this series called "31 Days of Fashion for Freedom." It is an effort to ( I am not trying to assign motives to her actions, just sum up what I think I have read on her page, but please go read it yourself, its super cool!) to raise awareness about modern-day slavery and human trafficking, and to check her ideas about clothing and identity. You don't know this about me yet, but I think human trafficking and modern-day slavery is WRONG. I first heard about this issue when I had the unbelievable opportunity to attend Passion 2013 (totally life changing experience to say the least, and I could write 20 million posts about it, and probably will mention it A LOT, but for now we'll just leave it at this: it rocked my world). When faced with staggering statistics I could do nothing else but sit there in shock. My heart simply hurt for these people who were abused and forced to do things they would never choose for themselves. To learn more about these stats, visit enditmovement.com

This is from their "facts" page.

Or one of these other really cool organizations' pages. They have lots of good information and they all do really really good work!

This is the International Justice Mission

The A21 Campaign

Not For Sale

Love 146

Polaris Project

While I was at Passion, I was really searching for God's voice telling me what I was to do. I don't have a lot of money that I can give to the numerous organizations that need it, and that was the only option for action that I, by myself, could see. Thank goodness that what I know is not all that there is to know! During my time at Passion, and the time since I have been home, I truly have felt God calling me just to be responsible when using the money and the voice that I have. I believe that for me, I am to be aware what I am supporting with my money- basically to be intentional with what I buy and say. For me, this looks like saving my money a little longer and buying clothes that are made without slave labor, and doing things like this to share my experience, and rather limited knowledge with those who are willing to listen. And (back to what prompted this post) this series, 31 Days, has some awesome ideas on how to buy ethically. I was so glad to find these resources, and definitely will be spending some more time with them as soon as this is published! :)

Fashion in general is something I have struggled with, body image, finding what looks good on me, and unfair (and unnecessary) comparisons to other girls are just some of the things I have difficulty with. Right about at the start of this year, I had decided that just waking up everyday, throwing on jeans and a t-shirt and hair in a ponytail was not what I wanted to do. Not that I don't love being comfortable or low maintenance or w/e, but it was quickly coming to the point where my decisions on how to dress and take care of myself were detrimental to the way I viewed myself and what I was capable of. Not that I prioritize the way I look over more important things now, by any means. It usually just means that I take the time to put outfits together that make me feel more confident in myself more days than I "give up" on the idea. Which believe me, is HUGE progress. And as you would imagine, since starting this weird part of my journey, the clothes in my closet have needed to be somewhat updated. This coupled with my new convictions about spending money have proved to be a whole other challenge. So finding this gem of a blog is awesome because it has a lot of help on the fashion side too, in addition to ideas about where to buy! Woohoo!

Well Hello There!!

Welcome to my little corner of the blogoshphere! I really have no clue what to even write here that people would care about, so let me start out by saying that this is nothing too special. Just my attempt to chronicle my journey and maybe share it with a few people who have the (un)fortunate luck of stumbling upon this corner that is mine. Here we go! As I embark on this journey within a journey, I want to include my own version of "traveling mercies" (those words always bring about images of my youth group circled up in the back parking lot holding hands as Pastor prays us off), because I definitely believe that a journey without Jesus is all kinds of lost.

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."

Proverbs 3:3