You wanna know something? Making friends is hard. And its not like working out hard, or calculus hard. Its hard like here I can either be lonely all the time and not share life with anybody, or I can risk looking like a complete idiot and ask if you want to eat lunch together, and further the awkwardness by making horrible small talk or word-vomiting about life. Talk about a rock and a hard place.
I was so blessed by my friends back home. I had a group of spectacular girls that were my rock all through high school. I never realized how much they pointed me towards Christ until I moved and they weren't right there all the time to help keep me in check. Our friendships were beautiful things, and I think one of the most clear illustrations I have of how life is supposed to work- with a community of Jesus-lovers. And these friendships have all continued, and I honestly believe that they will continue for the rest of our lives. These relationships have changed so much in the past few months, and as hard as it is to be so far away from the people I love the best, I know that our friendships won't stop because life gets in the way!
But I almost think that having such amazing girls at home made it harder to move here. I love being in in Murray and I have never been more sure that I'm where I'm supposed to be, but that doesn't mean leaving everything and everyone you know is easy. I'm figuring out so much about who I am and who I want to be that its scary. And I know that these times are supposed to be the stories I tell for the rest of my life (yeah, whatever), but I'm still pretty lonely sometimes. So many days end with me having NOTHING left to give to anybody. So many of my friendships require so much of me, and its hard. But God is so faithful (sensing a theme about my college experience thus far?) I have finally made some friendships that I feel like could grow into those "friends from college" who hang around my life for a while. :)
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