I promise I'm still here. Its just been super super crazy and some things have had to fall to the wayside. I'm sad about it, but really I haven't had much time to focus on anything except for what homework I have to do or what practice I have to go to next. My sincerest apologies.
But anyways. Lately the biggest thing on the "plate" is school. School school school school school. I'm so done with it. 2 weeks to spring break (9 weeks to graduation) and it just could not come soon enough. At this point, I know that my job is to finish well and give everything I have till graduation. I know that. But that doesn't make it any easier. So I'm just struggling through and trying to push and find motivation. And don't even get me started about how I'm supposed to be enjoying senior year and these are supposed to be the "best years of my life." Too much, too much.
So I talked about motivation right? Well I'm trying to like go through and recognize the good points about school, the things I enjoy and don't mind being there for :) So far I've come up with:
- Lacrosse and the girls (its the sport's first year at school and I'm loving it! We're all new and super bad, but its okay, cause we're all bad together)
- Band (sometimes I have a really bad attitude about it, but I really do love the family we've become and the music part is generally cool too)
- Lunches in the help-desk (entertaining to say the least, and sometimes I actually get work done)
- Friends (I was hesitant to put this here because I honestly see my friends more outside of school than I do inside, and we definitely get more quality time outside of it, but they are what make it bearable and I do have some pretty rocking friends!)
Honestly though, what gets me through more than anything else are times of awesome worship like what happened in big church and youth this week. Man it was good. And it never ceases to amaze me how much FUN it is to play worship when its so blatantly obvious that you're in the presence of God. It was soul restoring. Actually this entire weekend was a gift! Between babysitting and chill time with the family and a nice run and that awesome worship it was all that a weekend should be- restful and restorative. And barely a lick of homework got done (until Monday morning that is)
And for your listening pleasure, the youth worship set this week: Children of Light (Kristian Stanfil/ Passion Worship Band), Forever Reign (Hillsong Live), One This Remains (Jesus Culture).
Monday, March 18, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
What I Learned This Weekend
**In the interest of full disclosure, I'm having a rock out Jesus music jam sesh while writing this, so there is NO telling when it will actually get published :) haha.
Gotta be honest, now that I've actually gotten this blogging thing started, I'm a little bit stuck. Where do I go from here? The last post was totally inspired by the events surrounding it, but now that I'm in routine, daily life, what is there?
The past couple of weekends have been odd, they have been relaxing and refreshing. Meaning that instead of being swamped with that application or this interview or that essay, I was able to actually hang out with friends (hello social life! wait, what?). My school experience has been pretty intense, and my tendency to do everything I can and fill every moment of every day with SOMETHING has been a big struggle that I am and have been dealing with for a while. So I'm not kidding when I say that free, or even light-commitment weekends, have been somewhat foreign to me. The growth that I have seen in this area of my life has been immense already, and I'm so glad that He's not finished with me yet as I still have a ways to go. But anyways, (cue "Mystery" by Charlie Hall) this weekend was pretty chill, and it taught me so much about the importance of chill time. There are so many things that I want to do, but (mostly because of my mom) I'm learning to say "no, not this time" and its doing so much for my emotional health. I'm recognizing more and more where my breaking point is and what pushes me towards it, and because of this I am doing a MUCH better job of avoiding it! (thank You Jesus!)
One of my (many) "commitments" is church. I taught myself how to play guitar a few years ago, and have been leading worship at church since our music minister left last year. Since this is something that I LOVE so much, and count as such a blessing it almost pains me to call it a "commitment," but there are always those times when the sacrificial service aspect of it overpowers the joyful servant's heart, and getting out of bed 2 hours earlier to make an 8am sound check, is definitely one of those times. Don't get me wrong, once I'm there playing and worshiping my heart out, I'm totally in my element, but getting there is a little rough sometimes. This week was definitely one of those times made all the worse by springing forward (*sigh*) but hey, as usual God showed up, and the time spent in His presence is SO worth it. (Up next, for King & Country)
Funny story about this weekend in particular though. I painted my nails for the first time in a long time because it was like 70 outside (for the first time in a long time) and I wanted to wear my chacos, and I prefer the look of painted toenails (and you can't just paint your toenails a bold color without it getting all over your hands and its just easier to paint the fingers too).
So after I spent all this time painting my nails (they even looked good), I went to lead worship and in between 2 songs I dropped my pick inside my guitar, and a back up I did not have. So I had to use my FRESHLY PAINTED NAIL. Grr. Oh well. I'm not really the put-together, nicely manicured type anyways. But I found the irony rather striking. :) And here's a picture so that you can properly commiserate with me.
Now on to bigger and better things. Like calculus. Or maybe not. ("Forever Reign" One Sonic Society version anyone?)
Gotta be honest, now that I've actually gotten this blogging thing started, I'm a little bit stuck. Where do I go from here? The last post was totally inspired by the events surrounding it, but now that I'm in routine, daily life, what is there?
The past couple of weekends have been odd, they have been relaxing and refreshing. Meaning that instead of being swamped with that application or this interview or that essay, I was able to actually hang out with friends (hello social life! wait, what?). My school experience has been pretty intense, and my tendency to do everything I can and fill every moment of every day with SOMETHING has been a big struggle that I am and have been dealing with for a while. So I'm not kidding when I say that free, or even light-commitment weekends, have been somewhat foreign to me. The growth that I have seen in this area of my life has been immense already, and I'm so glad that He's not finished with me yet as I still have a ways to go. But anyways, (cue "Mystery" by Charlie Hall) this weekend was pretty chill, and it taught me so much about the importance of chill time. There are so many things that I want to do, but (mostly because of my mom) I'm learning to say "no, not this time" and its doing so much for my emotional health. I'm recognizing more and more where my breaking point is and what pushes me towards it, and because of this I am doing a MUCH better job of avoiding it! (thank You Jesus!)
One of my (many) "commitments" is church. I taught myself how to play guitar a few years ago, and have been leading worship at church since our music minister left last year. Since this is something that I LOVE so much, and count as such a blessing it almost pains me to call it a "commitment," but there are always those times when the sacrificial service aspect of it overpowers the joyful servant's heart, and getting out of bed 2 hours earlier to make an 8am sound check, is definitely one of those times. Don't get me wrong, once I'm there playing and worshiping my heart out, I'm totally in my element, but getting there is a little rough sometimes. This week was definitely one of those times made all the worse by springing forward (*sigh*) but hey, as usual God showed up, and the time spent in His presence is SO worth it. (Up next, for King & Country)
Funny story about this weekend in particular though. I painted my nails for the first time in a long time because it was like 70 outside (for the first time in a long time) and I wanted to wear my chacos, and I prefer the look of painted toenails (and you can't just paint your toenails a bold color without it getting all over your hands and its just easier to paint the fingers too).
.JPG) |
| This is from last summer, and ironically enough my toes are not painted. Blech! But YAY for chaco weather! |
So after I spent all this time painting my nails (they even looked good), I went to lead worship and in between 2 songs I dropped my pick inside my guitar, and a back up I did not have. So I had to use my FRESHLY PAINTED NAIL. Grr. Oh well. I'm not really the put-together, nicely manicured type anyways. But I found the irony rather striking. :) And here's a picture so that you can properly commiserate with me.
Now on to bigger and better things. Like calculus. Or maybe not. ("Forever Reign" One Sonic Society version anyone?)
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Snow Day!
As crazy as it is to be saying this in March, HAPPY SNOW DAY! When the announcement was made this morning I promptly did a little happy dance/ sigh of relief (no calculus for me today!) and hopped right back into bed for a few more hours! When I finally did wake up again, I had all these plans in my head of what I wanted to do today. And now, seeing that my free day will soon become free evening I am proud(ish) to announce that I have completed NOTHING that was on my to-do list. As much as it pains the type-A parts of my personality to say that, today has been a rather restorative break. I was able to dream a little bit more about my dorm room next year, look up a few more scholarships to apply for, split a frozen pizza with my brother (a surprisingly yummy snow day tradition), and create this blog. So a day wasted, not entirely. But pretty much.
In the midst of my dorm decor pin-fest, I stumbled across this rocking blog Scribbles from Emily. Not only did she have some pretty cool dorm ideas, but she did this series called "31 Days of Fashion for Freedom." It is an effort to ( I am not trying to assign motives to her actions, just sum up what I think I have read on her page, but please go read it yourself, its super cool!) to raise awareness about modern-day slavery and human trafficking, and to check her ideas about clothing and identity. You don't know this about me yet, but I think human trafficking and modern-day slavery is WRONG. I first heard about this issue when I had the unbelievable opportunity to attend Passion 2013 (totally life changing experience to say the least, and I could write 20 million posts about it, and probably will mention it A LOT, but for now we'll just leave it at this: it rocked my world). When faced with staggering statistics I could do nothing else but sit there in shock. My heart simply hurt for these people who were abused and forced to do things they would never choose for themselves. To learn more about these stats, visit enditmovement.com
Or one of these other really cool organizations' pages. They have lots of good information and they all do really really good work!
While I was at Passion, I was really searching for God's voice telling me what I was to do. I don't have a lot of money that I can give to the numerous organizations that need it, and that was the only option for action that I, by myself, could see. Thank goodness that what I know is not all that there is to know! During my time at Passion, and the time since I have been home, I truly have felt God calling me just to be responsible when using the money and the voice that I have. I believe that for me, I am to be aware what I am supporting with my money- basically to be intentional with what I buy and say. For me, this looks like saving my money a little longer and buying clothes that are made without slave labor, and doing things like this to share my experience, and rather limited knowledge with those who are willing to listen. And (back to what prompted this post) this series, 31 Days, has some awesome ideas on how to buy ethically. I was so glad to find these resources, and definitely will be spending some more time with them as soon as this is published! :)
In the midst of my dorm decor pin-fest, I stumbled across this rocking blog Scribbles from Emily. Not only did she have some pretty cool dorm ideas, but she did this series called "31 Days of Fashion for Freedom." It is an effort to ( I am not trying to assign motives to her actions, just sum up what I think I have read on her page, but please go read it yourself, its super cool!) to raise awareness about modern-day slavery and human trafficking, and to check her ideas about clothing and identity. You don't know this about me yet, but I think human trafficking and modern-day slavery is WRONG. I first heard about this issue when I had the unbelievable opportunity to attend Passion 2013 (totally life changing experience to say the least, and I could write 20 million posts about it, and probably will mention it A LOT, but for now we'll just leave it at this: it rocked my world). When faced with staggering statistics I could do nothing else but sit there in shock. My heart simply hurt for these people who were abused and forced to do things they would never choose for themselves. To learn more about these stats, visit enditmovement.com
.JPG) |
| This is from their "facts" page. |
Or one of these other really cool organizations' pages. They have lots of good information and they all do really really good work!
 |
| This is the International Justice Mission |
 |
| The A21 Campaign |
 |
| Not For Sale |
 |
| Love 146 |
 |
| Polaris Project |
While I was at Passion, I was really searching for God's voice telling me what I was to do. I don't have a lot of money that I can give to the numerous organizations that need it, and that was the only option for action that I, by myself, could see. Thank goodness that what I know is not all that there is to know! During my time at Passion, and the time since I have been home, I truly have felt God calling me just to be responsible when using the money and the voice that I have. I believe that for me, I am to be aware what I am supporting with my money- basically to be intentional with what I buy and say. For me, this looks like saving my money a little longer and buying clothes that are made without slave labor, and doing things like this to share my experience, and rather limited knowledge with those who are willing to listen. And (back to what prompted this post) this series, 31 Days, has some awesome ideas on how to buy ethically. I was so glad to find these resources, and definitely will be spending some more time with them as soon as this is published! :)
Fashion in general is something I have struggled with, body image, finding what looks good on me, and unfair (and unnecessary) comparisons to other girls are just some of the things I have difficulty with. Right about at the start of this year, I had decided that just waking up everyday, throwing on jeans and a t-shirt and hair in a ponytail was not what I wanted to do. Not that I don't love being comfortable or low maintenance or w/e, but it was quickly coming to the point where my decisions on how to dress and take care of myself were detrimental to the way I viewed myself and what I was capable of. Not that I prioritize the way I look over more important things now, by any means. It usually just means that I take the time to put outfits together that make me feel more confident in myself more days than I "give up" on the idea. Which believe me, is HUGE progress. And as you would imagine, since starting this weird part of my journey, the clothes in my closet have needed to be somewhat updated. This coupled with my new convictions about spending money have proved to be a whole other challenge. So finding this gem of a blog is awesome because it has a lot of help on the fashion side too, in addition to ideas about where to buy! Woohoo!
Well Hello There!!
Welcome to my little corner of the blogoshphere! I really have no clue what to even write here that people would care about, so let me start out by saying that this is nothing too special. Just my attempt to chronicle my journey and maybe share it with a few people who have the (un)fortunate luck of stumbling upon this corner that is mine. Here we go! As I embark on this journey within a journey, I want to include my own version of "traveling mercies" (those words always bring about images of my youth group circled up in the back parking lot holding hands as Pastor prays us off), because I definitely believe that a journey without Jesus is all kinds of lost.
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."
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